How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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