Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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