I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we made out on top of his cat.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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