why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
