I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
