I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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