So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
