Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
