Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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