Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need to calm my uterus...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
