It's Friday. Sex?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
