Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
