I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize