I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
