$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
