U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
