It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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