i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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