I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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