Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
