I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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