I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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