there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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