I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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