Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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