plz talk dirty to me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize