does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
