I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
