What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize