Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
