Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize