There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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