Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
