i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
