his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
