Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
