dude i'm inner monologue high
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
