then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
