Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
