What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
