Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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