I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
