so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Someone stole a lamp last night.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
