is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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