once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
