I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
handjob tips. give me some.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
