I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
