his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
