She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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