Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize