Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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