what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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