that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Randomize
