do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
