pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
