Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize