I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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