I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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