i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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