Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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