You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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