he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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