i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
