I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize