I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
