Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
