in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
