IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
