My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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