Have you finally orgasmed yet?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
