This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Randomize
